Sunday 2 September 2012

MY FAIR LADY SENORITA

If you are the guy who had never been in a relationship throughout your high school years , never had that first kiss with your girlfriend or the worst thing of all , never ask a girl out on a prom night at the end of your high school years , then I can conclude that you had a miserable teenage life . However , do not be worry . You are just a nano fraction of thousands of teenage boys across Malaysia who had never change their status of relationship from being " single " to " in a relationship " .

A classic case of a guy who never changed his " single " status on Facebook is me , myself .  Throughout my schooling years in primary , secondary and pre university level , I had been an awkward guy . Awkward not because I am sporting an awkward hairdo or looking like a Frankenstein monster , but I am one of the few guys in school who had never experienced the beauty of having a girlfriend . In the other word , I am just a high school "loser " who never had the " life " .

To say that I do not have the look that will put girls under my charm , is partially false . In fact , I was aware of some attempt by some girls who tried to make the first move on me . Some of them even send me love letters and flowers to my desk . If these girls are reading this , I would like to thank you for your kind act but sincerely saying , please put your name on the card so that I can send back the reply . Some of my male friends even joked that if I entered Bollywood as an actor , Salman Khan will be out of business .

However , over the years , after I reached 20 years of age , I had figured out several reasons why I do not have a girlfriend and why I do not need one for this moment . Firstly , I am still dependent on my parents for a living . I do not own a house , car , steady job and deep pockets in which I can offer to share with my girlfriend . I always believe that my parent's hard earned cash shall not go into my girlfriend 's " maintenance " fees . Instead . I will secure all of those four criterion above before I will call it a time for matchmaking session , on my own feet .

Secondly , I am a huge failure when it comes to making the " first move " on a girl . I do not have the talent to start a conversation with my love crush . Instead , I will somehow bring a " repaired " end to the relationship when the flowers of love have yet to bloom . Although I had planned the best dialogues , words , poems that will even make Shakespeare envious of my wordgasms, the planned conversation will not go as planned . Everything will be messed up and the day will be ended with a " red hand " mark on my face , as the girl walked away from me .

Thirdly , I have yet to find a girlfriend who passed all the " assessment test " of becoming a girlfriend of mine . My " dream girl " should be gorgeous looking young lady , loves kids , good at cooking and mending the house chores and should have at least a high school , SPM certificates . If she is a degree or diploma holder , that would be better . However , on top of that , she must possessed the following virtues in which I believe every girl should possessed . She must be loyal and truthful to the boyfriend , willing to share the sweetness and bitterness of a relationship , must be respectful to her and my parents , family members and relatives . I also expected her to uphold the Eastern values and lifestyle which had been deeply ingrained in myself . In return , I will be the best boyfriend she ever had .

In conclusion , I do not mind being a single young man for as long as I can remember  . In fact , I am proud of the fact that I had not been even in a single meaningless relationship with a girl who are trying to play the fool with me . However  I sincerely hoped that God will be my LOVE GURU who will try to match me with a young lady . Last but not least , I want the relationship to be " ended " with a love knot in a wedding function .

Now , shall I leave this Youtube music video clip for yours to savour ?
GENTLEMEN , GOOD NIGHT
LADIES , GOOD MORNING




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